Mantras.

I have never liked labelling individuals as toxic. It is a harsh label, but the behaviour is prevalent in business. Having run a business for nearly two decades, I understand the feeling. One person joins and can destroy everything you have built. I came close to this happening twice. While they can appear perfectly acceptable on a personal level, they destroy teams, divide people, and can kill client relationships and the entire business.

I think, fundamentally, this is a single behavioural trait that can manifest in many ways: the toxic behaviour is simply that they do what is best for themselves, even to the detriment of the team and the business. For example, they will happily tank a relationship, or a client’s or team member’s reputation, if they benefit.

Most people do what is best for themselves most of the time, but within reasonable bounds.

They do not speak truths. They say what will get the result they want. Whether that is aligned with the team or not, you never really know. When their interests are aligned, they can be excellent performers, but the cost of keeping them is always too high in my experience.

Group performance discussions can make this behaviour visible. Private instant-message chats and cliques are another telltale sign. Private instant-message groups have been the hallmark of this behaviour whenever I have experienced it. In a group setting, it is controlled because the negative narrative cannot be maintained.

There will usually be a “baddie”: someone in the business used to rally people against. The knife is held behind their back while they smile and shake your hand. Drama follows wherever they go.

I have tried to address this behaviour, but I have learned that I am not able to change the person. The only thing to do is protect the team and remove them. Failing to do that has cost me dearly every time.

Tony Fadell gives this behaviour a blunter name in Chapter 2.3, “Assholes”, of Build. He describes the passive-aggressive variety: friendly to your face, while going behind your back to gossip and undermine. He warns that they are more dangerous because you do not see them coming.

Tony Fadell, Build — Chapter 2.3: Assholes ↗